Sunday, August 31, 2008

perspectives of xicana

Some inspiring quotes and poem

Xicana means Xi-People Ca-earth-Na-Yes

People Earth Yes. What do you make of that? Being open to the earth and people. But it pains me.

“Why am I compelled to write? Because the writing saves me from this complacency I fear. Because I have no choice. Because I must keep the spirit of my revolt and myself alive. Because the world I create in the writing compensates for what the real world does not give me. By writing I put order in the world, give it a handle so I can grasp it. I write because life does not appease my appetites and hunger. I write to record what others erase when I speak, to rewrite the stories others have miswritten about me, about you.”
-Gloria Anzaldua, “Speaking in Tongues: A Letter to Third World Women Writers.”

I lack imagination you say

No. I lack language.
The language to clarify
My resistance to the literate.
Words are a war to me.
They threaten my family.. . .

My family is poor.
Poor. I can’t afford
a new ribbon. The risk
of this one is enough
to keep me moving
through it, accountable.
The repetition like my mother’s
stories retold, each time
reveals more particulars
gains more familiarity.You can’t get me in your car so fast.

Excerpt from “The Bridge Poem” by Donna Kate Rushin

I am awake now, my lover still sleeping beside me, wondering how we can blend our two worlds. How to mend the holes in our pasts, walk away bravely from the nightmares.
. . .
We both have no choice but to be survivors though the fears are still there. Whenever i see a crowd of men, my heart sinks to my feet, whenever i hear sudden noises, sudden crashing, anger, male noises, their very laughter is abrasive to my ears I shrink inside, walk close to the walls of my soul, i look for a place to hide

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

All I see is water and oil. It translates to this mess I don't understand. A get the hell out of my face. Oh no this fool didn't just say what I think. Neutrality. I use that to make friends sometimes. My experience keeps asking what the fuck makes your heart happy. When does it scream on top of her lungs boy you don't make me feel lonely anymore.

so its all related

I just switched to a new birth control pill and Im a little scared cuz the side effects described dont sound too awesome. But then I wasnt fairing so well with the Yaz cuz it affected my mood as well. It made me cold with gabe and made my dry and fria all over. Wtf? Can i get something that is not going to be messing up my body.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

LESSON #1: Be more direct

Being direct is, for most everyday matters, the best way to interact. It has a number of benefits, including:

* It saves time
* Misunderstandings are reduced
* It enables genuine negotiation to take place
* You get more easily and quickly to a win-win solution
* Other people don't have to second-guess what you are thinking

Being direct is a much better option than not. Being direct is being honest and showing integrity.

* Don�t apologise profusely.
* Don�t beat around the bush, as it frustrates the other person
* Keep it short (making long-winded excuses can cause confusion)
* If appropriate give a reason for your request, but don�t make it a long-winded self-justification
* Don�t dress up your requests with flattery, which can come across as manipulation and make it more difficult for the person to refuse
* Don�t take a refusal personally

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

todays conversation

today i had several conversations with important people. From gabe, i gathered reflections of building a sustainable family and starting with my dad since he is the head of the family and more conscious one. From my part, I had to commit to engaging my dad 1-1 to develop his personal empowerment either through learning how to drive and opening his horizons to what is out there. from my parents they got excited about the prospects of getting a car. i told about getting a loan and my dad confessed that he wasnt sure where the money situation was at in the family or how much money he could afford to go to mexico. i reassured him that delta has grievances packages that can be purchased and changed.but it made me think and be cautious about a couple of things. how we going to run the house when they are gone! I have lived by myself before and I can handle things. the other thing is i wonder hwo their economic situation is now. how can we sustain things now. we need support or at least create structures of support. from my mom side she is more accepting. i dont think she can handle the logistics of things but she will be a valuable resource in terms of outreach and who to contact. we can handle the logistics. a couple of big purchases will be made. we should smooth the process before we move along. just a couple of thoughts for the night..

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