Wednesday, January 30, 2008

and then there where none

And in the end it didnt matter. All that work. All that time spent dedicated to them so that they wouldnt have to suffer one day. Its like it never mattered if I worked hard or if I didnt work hard. It didnt matter. It was all the same. they treated me like i never had a voice to begin with. I just had to take care of them when they got older that is all I did. That was all of my responsibility.

I dont understand him either. I dont particularly miss him not being in the house. He was always moody and occasionally helped around the house. There was no space in my bed. He complains that he doesnt have a place to sleep in. He complains that the chinches bite him but that is where pride takes you. Its not impossible to live in my house. He missed his friends and his privacy. I missed the me time. Those r things that just happen and make or break a relationship.

As for my parents they could make their life simpler ifthey didnt get so involved with other peoples lives

Thursday, January 24, 2008

How to prepare for weight loss

Lasting weight loss isn't just about the body, Kripalu's experts say. You've got to get your mind on board, too, and take an honest look at your life. The following exercises will help.

Start with Intention
Journal about your deepest wishes and hopes for where you will be in three months, six months, and a year. Don't think in terms of scales or sizes, says Aruni Nan Futuronsky, senior life coach at Kripalu. For example, maybe you see yourself taking long hikes or planting a garden. Maybe you see yourself simply full of energy and joyful.

3 months (FEB_MARCH_APRIL)
My goal is to gain independence by driving and driving well and confidently.
I want to feel comfortable in my body understanding that it is a process of recovery.

6 months

12 months

Determine Where Your Energy Goes
Before you shift your habits, draw a pie chart that shows how you've spent your time in the last six months. How much of the pie goes to work, your family, your friends, yourself? How might you reallocate your energy to make room for changes?

Think Positive and Start Small
Base your changes on self-love, not deprivation. For example, instead of resolving not to eat ice cream at night, sign yourself up for an evening Pilates class. And keep in mind that for many people, "details ground us in success," says Futuronsky. Rather than saying, "I'm going to get in shape," think about how, when, where, and with whom you'll exercise.

Choose Wisely
Eating a whole-foods, plant-based diet sets you up for healthy weight loss, says John Bagnulo, Ph.D., Kripalu's fitness manager and nutrition instructor. High concentrations of the essential amino acids found in animal proteins, particularly red meat and dairy, slow the body's metabolism, says Bagnulo. "There's room for small amounts of animal protein," he says, but aim to make 75 percent of your diet plant-based.

Think Fresh
Load up on veggies and fruit in the produce aisle or at a local farmers' market. Make veggies and whole grains -- barley, quinoa, brown rice -- the centerpiece of your meal. That said, don't force yourself to eat things you don't like. If you hate broccoli, for instance, try new recipes with a vegetable that you love -- perhaps Swiss chard? Snow peas? Eggplant?

Find Healthy Replacements
If you're hooked on pasta or white rice, start by substituting a whole grain a few times a week. If meat usually takes center stage at mealtime, experiment with vegetable proteins like beans and legumes (curried red lentils, for instance, cannellini beans with escarole, or black bean soup). "Beans are a great weight loss food," says Bagnulo.

Eat Right
Managing your blood sugar helps reduce cravings and binge eating and keeps insulin levels low and steady. "When insulin levels are high, your body will store more of the food that you've eaten as fat," says Bagnulo. "Keeping your insulin levels lower allows your body to use your fat stores as fuel for your energy needs."

Go Easy on Sweets
Minimize consumption of added sweeteners, such as sugar, fructose, honey, and especially high-fructose corn syrup.

Eat a Hearty Breakfast
Try to eat at least 25 percent of your calories at your morning meal, says Bagnulo. And choose low-glycemic foods (those that won't spike your blood sugar), like whole-grain oatmeal and blackberries or poached eggs with a slice of whole rye bread. "Studies show that when people have a low-glycemic breakfast, they're not as likely to binge on the wrong foods later in the day," says Bagnulo. They're also more likely to choose whole foods for the rest of their meals.

Avoid Flour-Based Foods at Dinner
Flour puts glucose in the bloodstream, so eat flour-based foods like breads or pastas only when you're more active and will burn it off-after breakfast or lunch. At night, even a couple of slices of bread can "counteract the weight loss you're after," explains Bagnulo. Don't mix fats and simple carbs. "Fats consumed with insulin-raising foods are more likely to be stored as fat," says Bagnulo. When eating avocado or olive oil, for instance, choose whole-grain breads and brown rice over refined carbs. When eating beef or lamb, Bagnulo advises avoiding flour-based foods, choosing whole grains or beans instead.

Rethink What You Eat When -- and How Much
Undereating, especially at midday, can backfire, says Bagnulo. "I'm not a big fan of having just a salad at lunch," he says. A plate of lettuce may make you feel full temporarily because "you've eaten a lot of bulk," he says, but you'll crave those calories later. At lunch, toss tuna and avocado with olive oil and lemon juice and pile it on a slice of whole-grain bread. It's fine to include salads with your meal, but save main-course salads for dinner. As for portion control, Kripalu takes a novel approach. With a whole-foods diet -- vegetables, whole grains, healthy protein -- "you have the freedom to eat until you're full," says Bagnulo. On the other hand, flour-based products like pasta and bread or refined foods like white rice require more attention. These foods affect your blood sugar, so keep the portions small (half a bagel, a cup of whole-wheat pasta)

Prioritizing exercise is essential for weight loss, but that doesn't mean you have to become a gym rat. Kripalu's fitness philosophy is "do what fits into your life," says Jennifer Young, director of Healthy Living programs at Kripalu. "We try to give people things they can do at home." Get your heart rate up. Cardiovascular exercise is critical for weight-loss, says senior fitness trainer Bianca Wallen. Jogging, speed walking, and biking are all good choices since they're "portable." When setting priorities, choose three intense workouts each week over five gentler ones. "If you're walking and having a nice conversation, you probably aren't walking fast enough," says Wallen.

Build Strength
Strength training helps weight loss because it builds muscle (which burns fat), says Young. If you don't go to the gym, keep a set of three-and five-pound weights in an accessible place at home. (For a starter routine, visit Body+Soul's Weight Loss Guide.) Need a break from what you're doing? Instead of heading to the fridge, put on one of your favorite songs, grab the weights, and do a few sets of arm exercises. Need a change of scenery? Embrace yard work. Mowing the lawn with a push mower, digging in the garden, and carting mulch around in a wheelbarrow will get your muscles working.

Practice Yoga
Maintaining a regular yoga practice can enhance your weight-loss regimen, says Wallen, primarily by toning muscles and reducing stress. (High levels of stress hormones, such as cortisol, may be linked to abdominal weight gain.) Aim to practice for at least one hour, two times a week. Wallen recommends varying the type of yoga you do, from gentle to more intense styles.

"We can't know if we're full if we aren't connected to our bodies," explains Futuronsky. Breathing exercises and meditations will keep you grounded in your senses and help change habits.

Life-Force Breathing
You can increase your energy and connect to your body by learning to breathe more fully, says Futuronsky. Take 10 minutes a day to practice the following exercise: Lie on your back with your hands on your belly. Relax your abdomen, chest, and face. Let your bones get heavy. Then draw a breath in through your nostrils and feel your belly rise and expand. Next, direct the breath to your ribcage and feel it expand. Then fill the top of the chest with air. As you release the breath, feel the upper chest, then the ribcage, relax and fall. Let the belly release and fall at the end of the exhalation. Squeeze the last bit of air out of your lungs, and then relax and start again.

Conscious Eating
When we disconnect from our bodies during meals, either because we're multitasking or using food to numb our feelings, we tend to overeat and choose foods that provide quick rushes instead of long-lasting nourishment. Find one meal a week to consciously slow down, says Futuronsky. If you can, take the meal in silence. Turn off the TV and radio, and light a candle. Put the food on the table and then take a few minutes to breathe deeply. Notice the smells and colors of the food. Then slowly take your first bite. Take time to appreciate the taste and textures in your mouth. Chew slowly and thoroughly. Set your fork down between bites. Take your time. Listen to the signals your body sends as it moves from hungry to full.

Ten Truths

1. Gratitude is the most transformative force in the cosmos, because gratitude is love. Sarah says, "When our hearts our broken, we don't think we have much to be thankful for. We don't have to be smiling when we say 'Thank you.'"
2. Your happiness increases the happiness of everyone who knows you. "We have so much. All we have is all we need. All we need is the awareness of how blessed we really are."
3. Whether we live passionately or not is a choice we make. When writers write, the most important emotion is conveyed between the lines. "I want to live in between the lines, where the depth is."
4. Those who live passionately teach us how to love. Those who love passionately teach us how to live.
5. Big changes come with small choices. "Little changes [and] little choices add up to be revolutionary changes in your life."
6. The more risks you take, the luckier you become.
7. Nothing hurts you more than your expectations. "If you trust life and learn to embrace it and try not to control everything, then life can be more wondrous than you thought it would be."
8. Our relationships with others are only as emotionally healthy, happy, holy and content as our relationships with ourselves.
9. The only wound your soul never recovers from is regret. "What I know for sure is that we don't have the luxury of regret any more. The past only asks to be remembered."
10. Cherish each morning and give thanks for each evening. "I think the greatest gift September 11 can give us would be that we learn to cherish our imperfect lives."

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